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please just send cash, vodka,...funny quotes

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To all my friends and relatives who have sent me best 'wishes', chain letters, 'angel' letters or other promises of good luck, None Of That Shit Worked! Could you please just send cash, vodka, Could you please just send cash, vodka, chocolate, Italian food, wine, or airline tickets instead? Thank you!
Laughter is the best medicine. But if you're laughing without any reason, you need medicine.
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